What Does a Mouthful of Teeth Feel Like?

This is for all of you who have had that dream where your teeth fall out.

I was brushing my teeth this morning with my nifty electric toothbrush. Thinking about all the work I had to do. Thinking about how happy I was to be done with the flu that’s kept residence in my body the last few days. Just thinking.

You need to shave.

(Shifting to my back molars, left side).

Dang, your crows feet are nasty.

(Shifting to back molars, right…)

And then it happened. My mouth was full of what felt like multiple teeth. I didn’t want to open my mouth because I didn’t want to see how bad it was.

Maybe it was a filling? A crown? Please just be my crown. I don’t want to deal with this today. I have way too much to do.

So I slowly moved one piece to my lips using the same mouth muscles I use to extract sunflower seed shells. What emerged was big. And white.

Seriously? My teeth are actually just randomly falling out. And there’s a few more pieces in there…

I realized I still had my toothbrush in my mouth. I was using it like a cork of sorts. So I started to slide it out. My lips clinched on it. Holding in the toothpaste goop. And my teeth. Or whatever was left of them.

Something’s not right. Something’s not right at all. 

I now wasn’t talking about my mouth. Something wasn’t right with my toothbrush. Which was missing the top cover. The plastic part on the opposite side of the bristles. Gone. Shattered.

I looked at the piece I had already extracted which I had set carefully on the side of the sink.

Plastic.

As were all the other nuggets I was so carefully protecting in my mouth. All four of them. Cheap. Tooth-impersonators. Plastic.

This was going to be a very, very good day.